So Ive been away a while, some will say AIDS, some will say Bum Raped. Truth of the matter is Ive been fucking ill. SERIOUSLY ill. For a moment I thought I was going to die. If it wasn't for the wonders of 7up, Id of been fucked. IS there nothing 7up dont fix? When I was little it sorted everything. "Mum......Ive got a stomach ache"..........."Have a glass of 7up son"............
"Mum, Ive got a headache".............."Have a glass of 7up son"
"Mum, Ive smashed my face to pieces falling off my bike"............"Glass of 7up"
I swear, its the most potent bit of medicince ever...........stick your pennicilin up your arse.........fido dido's the way to go.
Now, what a few weeks we've had. I was out in Riga when them pesky City boys fucked Chelsea over. Watching with 12 Man City fans and my 2 Chelsea brothers made it all the more sweeter. 2 points off top, albeit played a game a more, but whose fucking counting.
I read in the paper a few days agao some cunt walked into Ladbrokes and laid down 10k on Arsenal to win the league at 9/2. Thats either a brave man or a fucking silly man.........Bould, been anywhere Ladbrokes lately? Not silly cos we have no chance, all we can do is win well and hope for the other 2 cunt teams to slip up, but silly cos well, its 10k..........I hate people with money, really fucking annoys me. Like the cunts who win the lottery and say "Im still going to work at my job for the post office".............What the fuck is that all about? If I won the lottery Id walk straight into my bosses office, grab his swivling chair, plonk my arse down, put my feet up on his desk and promptly bang one out over his keyboard.........."YOUR SACKED!........." So fucking what?
Sol's talking about an England call up, or to put it right, the media are bored cos Arsenal are winning and are looking to ridicule us some more. At the end of the day Bould's fictorious Mrs has got more of a chance than going to South Africa with the squad. Dont be a cunt Sol, I love you man, but dont be a cunt.
JET is doing fucking wonders down at Doncaster and wants to stay the rest of the season, all 11 games of it. Good luck to the lad, I reckon we could use him next season.
Not for the first time Ive heard Celtic are sniffing round Jay Simpson. Hmmmmmm. Is it just me or does Simpson seem like a spud in disguise? Dont get me wrong, a good prospect, doing well at QPR, but he just doesn't have that "Arsenalesque" about him. Might be wrong, hope so.
Jack the fucking lad got his first PL goal for the trotters last weekend as well. If there was one bloke I had to fuck it would be Jack. Fucking love that little cunt.
Next up we face that orange cunt Phil Brown. I fucking hate him. Not only cos of what happened at Cescgate, but because he's orange and that stupid fucking ear piece. Just turn your head to the left slightly, thats it, see that cunt siutting next to you? THATS WHO YOUR FUCKING SPEAKING TO ! CUNT!"
Im also starting a campaign. Im giving away £10 to the first cunt to spot Fran Merida. Not long agao Carlos Vela went "missing". Not at any games, not in any news, just fucked off somewhere. Now the same fate has fucked Franny. Im opening a book, 4/7 favourite is that he's been abducted by them Alien cunts in the Specsavers advert and he's sitting on an operating table somewhere saying "Why here? Why Me?"
Answers on a postcard to the usual address
More tomorrow
